Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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