She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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