I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
