i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
