it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
