your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
