I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
