are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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