haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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