is wine microwaveable?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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