Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize