yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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