sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
