I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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