Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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