She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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