i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
