you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
