Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
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