I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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