I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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