i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
