I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Sober January is a disaster.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
