i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
