There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
