He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
