yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Acid is not a monday night drug
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
