We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Terrible idea I love it
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
