dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
