she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
