barbara walters just said penis...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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