literally had 100 drinks last night.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
