TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
ok first of all what the fuck
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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