I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize
