drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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