can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
