Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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