bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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