How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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