We won't sleep together?
I got chris browned last night
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
