i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
