the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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