some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
