seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
