I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Randomize
