if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
