Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
