No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
