I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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