This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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