she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
