maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
