i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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