u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
