she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Randomize
