I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
