Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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