just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
