I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize