ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
